Sunday, July 24, 2011

d30 Table of Random Text Scraps

From the bowels of Hell, thine Spawn of Endra wails forth:

I'm packing up for a move to the east, and so I'm clearing out stuff, running across lost and forgotten items, and the usual. In one pile of papers I found my 2010 calendar that has random thoughts written throughout. Before I put this into the recycling, it looks like there's enough to make a d30 table that you might use for when there's a scrap of parchment in a room, or you need the title or subject of a book or a painting, response from an oracle, or you just want a random concept. Here you go:

D30 Table of Random Text Scraps
  1. The '00s --> The Actually Decade - as the last faint recognition of the routine loss of reality. (1/5)
  2. Yes, sex is destructive by nature. Leave it for your least elaborate castles made of sand. (1/8)
  3. ABP: Ambient Bovine Parliament. (1/15)
  4. Secretary of the Inferior. (1/19)
  5. Oh, the frequency of thine reprehensible repast. (1/26)
  6. By dreaming as deeply as we do of the West, we dispossess you of your land. (2/3)
  7. Earthcake. (2/4)
  8. Every person I met was less a person than those people. (2/7)
  9. Aspiring towards a more VAST archaeology. (2/10)
  10. Turn Corned Beef. (2/26)
  11. Hector Littlepants National Holiday. (2/27)
  12. Les McCann, Eddie Harris and Baudrillard: Tryin' to make it hyper-real compared to hyper-what? (3/2)
  13. Oh great. Another overbearing white male I'm not getting sex from. (3/5)
  14. How are you going to run the midget circus this year? (3/6)
  15. Austrian City Limits (3/13)
  16. Corned Beef Cured. (3/14)
  17. Jesus Priced! (3/25)
  18. You are leaning on the industrious class. Why? (4/2)
  19. Yes, I am in complete agreement with Cat Ideology. But there is no Cat State. (4/9)
  20. Sarmandira, an ancient princess. (7/6)
  21. Gleefully drawn into a world of aggression by an inadequate aggressor. (7/25)
  22. Hillbilly God, Uncle Norton's Camp. (8/7)
  23. A PhD in the Archaeology of Sexuality seems the obvious next step, but granting it to anyone under 50 years of age is insane. (8/14)
  24. Just because no one is listening to you doesn't make you a voice crying in the wilderness. You might just be a dipshit. (8/15)
  25. Long distance relationships are difficult. For me it's the distance between fantasy and reality. (10/16)
  26. A useful definition: Dysphoria is the opposite of Euphoria. (11/17)
  27. The Sweet Hubris of the Autodidact (11/21)
  28. Vulvateen Heterodyne. (11/22)
  29. I come from the land where folks complain about too many public works projects. (12/11)
  30. Oi fink it's tot-ullee de-fucking-skusting. (12/13)
Rock the d30!


  1. Thanks to you guys, I ordered my first d30, a slinky black number, and it's enroute just in time for an apocalyptic siege my players' forces are enduring at a ruined fort near the Hool Swamp. Evil men led by two knights of Hextor are breaking down the juryrigged gates, the Nameless Temple is sending an army of zombies (led by a necromancer and his zombified hill giant) are attacking from the catacombs below. Occasionally a manticore swoops in to carry off a tower archer.

    My players' eyes lit up when I explained about the tradition of rolling a d30 once a session. Till I said I reserved the right to do the same. Bwahaha!

  2. Very good! Remember the DM can roll on d30 random tables all he/she/it wants without using up their once-a-session d30! PC death awaits!

    The d30 promises so much, but is a fickle lumbering beast. When the 25-30 rolls come up, the players are high as a kites. But when they get those 1-4 results, it is so deflating. It's not talked about much, but I still think that the d30 houserule encourages players to look more closely at mechanics as they try to maximize the effect of the roll, which leads to more attentive play. But even if that doesn't happen, there are still the epic moments where everyone has been saving up their rolls 'til the end. And when those start going ... two, three, four PC rolls in row ... everybody is focused and watching how it falls, and then loudly moaning or howling or shouting depending on the way the thing falls.

    As I've said somewhere else:

    It's just a lot of fucking fun!

  3. I'm swiping all the d30 tables I can find. :)
    Going to be potentially bloody and epic battle royale on Saturday.
    Thanks, guys. This journal is a real inspiration.

  4. @Carter: Also very handy to come across the exact date that "Austrian City Limits" came to my mind. Haunse Spoobldoo gets the last word!

    Not to mention Hillbilly God: Fleem Productions rocks it!

  5. @Spawn: Indeed!

    @imago1: Glad we could inspire you toward the GREATNESS of the d30!

  6. Woot!! The big black d30 of doom hath arrived. I was so excited I rolled it around on the sidewalk a few times outside the country post office while waiting for someone. Yeah, lame.

    Man, the sucker is hefty. Downright magisterial.