New Spell: Enhance Underpants

Le Spawn dit:

Enhance Underpants (Cleric 4)
Duration: Permanent or until dispelled; Range: Touch.

Enhance Underpants allows a cleric to bless a groinal undergarment (e.g., long johns, boxers, loincloths, furry barbarian speedos, chainmail panties, the diaper on the guy from White Plume Mountain) so that it offers magical protection when it is the primary article of clothing. Underpants thusly enhanced give a +3 to AC and act as a +2 ring of protection for the purposes of saving throws. If covered by other clothing, armor, etc., the PC receives no bonuses. Great for the barbarian loathe to part with traditional garb, and a boon to many Erol Otus subjects. Also comes in handy when a PC is captured by hostile forces, stripped to his or her skivvies, and chained up in a dungeon. Favored for romantic espionage operations, and situations where one's 'ass in left hanging in the breeze', as it were.

d10 Blog Post: A Monster / Trap Combo

Rarely one to pass up an externally imposed blogging challenge, I have rolled on Zak's d10 blog post topic table, coming up with a "5" result, i.e., "Write up a monster/trap combination. Neither the monster nor the trap must be original, but the combo must be interesting."

So:

Illustration copyright Dan Frazier.

The Ogre Acid Pool
A trapdoor or pit trap drops the victim(s) into a pool of acid, which inflicts 1d6 damage per round of exposure. Furthermore, two powerful (max. hp) ogres armed with spiked clubs (treat as flails) tend the pool, guarding its perimeter and clubbing anyone who tries to climb out, forcing them back into the acid. Each ogre wears a magical amulet that makes the wearer immune to acid damage, so the ogres can (and will) wade into the pool itself to continue beating on their victims.


Bonus Material!
Despite my enjoyment in concocting the Ogre Acid Pool above, I guess I was secretly hoping I might get result "6" on Zak's table, i.e., "Give us a spell. Just one. Or more if you're hardcore." I may not be hardcore, but I do have one fun, mischievous little spell to offer you:

Dunce-Face
Lvl. 1 MU
Range: touch
Duration: caster level in hours
This spell forces a single target's face to be frozen into a particularly stupid expression: bewildered-looking, cross-eyed, and/or with tongue lolling out of the target's mouth. This effectively lowers the victim's CHA by -3 for the spell's duration.  The target can still talk and his or her INT is unaffected, but s/he will slur speech, stutter, and cannot use any big or complicated words while the spell is in effect. This spell does not prevent spellcasters from casting spells, but does increase the chance that they will misspeak and therefore provoke unexpected results.

Command: Spaz Attack! [New Cleric Spell Variant]

Thine Spawn woke Monday a.m. too early with a rolling mind,
and before I could begin my useful incantations to stop the brain from rambling, I was half way into this post. The cleric spell Command came to mind: the caster says one word that makes sense as a command (jump, sleep, talk, bake, etc), and this affects one creature for one round. There's no d30 fanciness to apply and it's only one round and then the target's back to normal. If you say “die” the target just passes out for one round. So if you can't really think of something deadly to do with it (like make someone “plummet” off a cliff), then what could you do?

Early this morning, my addled brain thought, well if you could command a hobgoblin to "Spaz-out!" or just "Spaz!" what would that look like? Hmm. That’s pretty wide open, covering a wide range of literal and figurative spasms.

Almost immediately this random table materialized (I want to give the d12 some real game time). I figure you Command "Spaz!" and roll d12 twice, and the following effects occur, which are cumulative:

1. Arms flail wildly

2. Legs dance and kick wildly

3. Total appendage flail with headbanging

4. Grotesque contorting convulsions in place

5. Loss of bowel control, violent defecation

6. Loss of bladder control, wets him/herself

7. Projectile vomiting 20' range

8. Screaming nonsense babble at top of lungs

9-10. Spaz with berserker rage directed at foes , +2 to hit and damage

11-12. Spaz with berserker rage directed at allies, +2 to hit and damage

All effects last one round total. All results occur immediately after the spell is cast, no initiative is rolled, no other actions can be taken outside of the normal Save vs. Spells. Generally, results occur simultaneously. If you have a 9 and a 12, the target will attack twice -- once against foes, once against allies – before any other actions can occur. When in doubt, the GM can fall back on each effect takes half a round. Convulsions in place may occupy the first half round, followed by Projectile Vomiting, and so on. But, when not in obvious contradiction, effects are cumulative: two 11s equals 1 strike at +4 to hit and damage, not two strikes at +2.

This seems good for creating diversions, or just adding some zaniness to the average combat encounter. And it has the potential for negative outcomes for the caster, so it's not just a gimme.

Enjoy!

Ara Needs Elementalists!

I have wanted an Elementalist NPC class for my Lands of Ara campaign for some time, and have a few ideas brewing along this line, but have hit something of an impasse in the development stage.  The main source of that impasse is mostly my own laziness, but this post is intended as a partial corrective to that entropic tendency -- at least here I will start getting my ideas out in a public forum, and maybe some other folks will be able to help me fill in the gaps and get me inspired to complete this mini-project.

In terms of not totally re-inventing the wheel here, I am aware that EGG (or, more likely, Len Lakofka) developed a Pyrologist class, and I have access to the original publication in which that class appeared, Liaisons Dangereuses #74.  However, this class has two major limitations as far as my own intentions for Elementalists are concerned: (1) it seems to mainly consist of an alternative spell list grafted onto a standard Magic-User mechanic (though a clerical version is cryptically mentioned), and (2) it covers only the element of fire.  I admit that some of those new Pyromage spells are great, and I will surely hork them for my Arandish Fire Elementalists, but I want my Elementalists to be more like a combination spellcaster / summoner, and even more importantly, elementalists in Ara are Clerics, NOT Magic-Users.  So to make the kind of Elementalist class I envision, I will need:

(1)  More Elementalist-specific spells,

(2)  More types of elemental creatures for my Elementalists to summon -- a point that elf23 also makes in his tantalizing post over at The City of Iron on this topic -- and

(3)  The whole thing placed upon a Cleric-like or Druid-like chassis.   

So to begin with, does anyone know of more good resources for element-specific spells?  I have raided the Ancient Vaults and Eldritch Secrets blog for relevant spells many times (and am thankful for this index provided by ChicagoWiz).  Any other resources or ideas that would help me here?

Also, thanks to elf23 for his recent post of a Labyrinth Lord general elementalist spell list.

Four Horrid Spells

Who knows why, but I seem to love magic-user spells on themes of slime, scum, filth, and grotesquery.  So I present four horrid spells, two of which were actually created by more inventive people than me, as noted individually below.

Stickyfoot
Level: 2 (M-u)
Range: 100'
Stickyfoot creates a small (3’ x 3’) patch of a transparent, sticky substance which instantly bonds one person or human-sized being’s feet to the floor.  This patch may be cast anywhere within sight of the magic-user up to 100', and it sets instantly, so it must be cast directly under someone in order to be effective.   Once it adheres to its target’s feet and sets, the Stickyfoot substance immobilizes the target for 1d4 rounds, then vaporizes, freeing the target.  While immobilized, the target attacks at -1, and any DEX-related AC bonuses are negated.  The Stickyfoot spell can only be used against one human-sized target at a time (exceptionally large targets are not affected), and will only work in areas with solid floors (for instance, the Stickyfoot substance would not adhere to the side of a sand dune or to a patch of slimy swamp muck).

[Stickyfoot was conceived and written by Dave Miller for the original Crimson Blades of Ara game.]

Troglodyte Stench Burst
level: 3 (M-u)
range: 100 feet
Creates a 10’ radius spherical cloud of Troglodyte stench, enfeeblingly repulsive to humans and demi-humans, which appears within 100’ of the caster and lasts for 1d6 rounds.  Those humans or demi-humans trapped within the transparent cloud must save vs. poison or suffer a –2 to all attack rolls while still in the cloud.  Even those who escape the radius of the cloud find that the stench, and the –2 attack penalty if not saved against, will cling to the target for 10 additional rounds. 

Cannibal Curse
level: 4 (M-u)
range: 20 feet
Cannibal Curse turns one target within 20 feet into an uncontrollably ravenous cannibal for 1d6 rounds.  The cursed individual will viciously attack the nearest member(s) of its own species, biting at his/her/its/their flesh and attempting to eat him/her/it/them.  The cursed individual cannot be reasoned with while the curse is in effect.

[Note: The Cannibal Curse spell could be made available to evil clerics, in which case it would be a level 5 evil cleric spell.]

Vomitus Deluge
level: 5 (M-u)
range: 500 feet
On command, a magical stream of viscous, pungent acid spews forth from the caster and bursts onto its target(s).  The effect has a range of 500 feet and creates a vomitus burst 20' in radius. The burst deals 2d4 points of initial acidic damage. Unless somehow neutralized, the acid lasts another 1d6 rounds, dealing another 2d4 points of damage per round.  All beings caught within the burst of the vomitus deluge are allowed a save versus spells; a successful save reduces all damage by half.

[Vomitus Deluge was created by Jamey Racer II for a D&D 3.5 campaign in 2007-08.]

And of course no list of horrid spells would be complete without our favorite "horrid" spell, the most requested spell scroll in the Kaladarian Grand Wizardry Archive every year since its debut in 1583, the ever-popular Scumbrella!!

Scumbrella
Level: 1 (M-u)
Range: touch
Scumbrella is a 1st-Level magic-user spell that is cast upon a single mundane umbrella.  The next time that umbrella is opened, it dumps sewage and filth all over the person(s) underneath it.  Scumbrella is mainly a “practical joke” spell with very little direct combat application, though the target scummed by a Scumbrella is considered surprised for one round.  Further, if someone with open sores or wounds opens the Scumbrella, a save vs. poison is required to avoid catching some nasty disease.

Finally, to cap off our exciting tour of horrid spells, I present a magic-using NPC who takes advantage of some of them (as well as some great ones by bat from Ancient Vaults), Elzar the Horrid:

Elzar the Horrid
Human Magic-User Level 6
Sex: male
Alignment: neutral
STR 6, DEX 13, CON 14, INT 17, WIS 10, CHA 5
HP: 13
AC: 7
Weapons: dagger (1d4 dam.)
Armor: unarmored (base AC 9)
Spells (1st): Scumbrella, Gobsmacked
Spells (2nd): Mutinous Limb!, Summon Peasant
Spells (3rd): Troglodyte Stench Burst, Vexation of Food and Drink*

*Listed as a Level 2 Druid Spell, but Elzar has adapted this spell for arcane use as a level 3 spell.

Elzar the Horrid is thought to dwell southwest of Wilkiss, somewhere along the northern edge of the Great Western Swamp, in a particularly nasty smelling hovel guarded by a loyal giant toad.  He spends most of his time working to develop new horrid spell scrolls and potions, which he sells (through an agent) in the popular public market in Tradefair.  Elzar is widely held to be the creator of the Troglodyte Stench Burst spell, but he has never publicly verified this fact.  Elzar likes to be left alone and will use his array of horrid spells, including the distinctly antisocial Mutinous Limb!, to deter visitors to his hidden swamp cave.  He wears a ring of protection +1, which, along with his high DEX, accounts for his lowered AC.  Elzar is a Council Adept in good standing (i.e., he pays his Council dues) but he never attends meetings or Council functions in person.

Ancient Vaults Spells - Available in Ara!

I have been following bat's Ancient Vaults and Eldritch Secrets blog for awhile now, and am impressed with the quality of the offerings there and the care with which they are presented.  I have been planning on pilfering a bunch of bat's stuff for use in my Arandish campaingn, and then just recently, Chgowitz at the Old Guy RPG Blog posted this incredibly handy index to Ancient Vaults spells!

So I hereby declare that all Ancient Vaults spells found at the above link are available for use in Ara.

Thanks to bat for the great content and to Chgowitz for the superb organizational effort!

Two New d30 Spells

Not only is this a chance a blab some more about my recently-acquired 30-sided die, it represents the resolution of a fun little conundrum I've been facing in the arcane magic department.  You see, there was this spell from Crimson Blades of Ara, my co-homebrewed FRPG system, that I always really loved and wanted to create an analogue for for my upcoming Arandish Labyrinth Lord campaign.  The spell is called Alaxxx's Zib Flobble, and it is a kind of momentary fate-controlling (or at least fate-skewing or fate-randomizing) spell.  Here is the original spell description -- note that CBOA was a skill-based system that operated almost entirely on d% rolls:

Alaxxx’s Zib Flobble (CBOA version)
Range: sight. 
Duration: 1 minute.
Invented by the mad Achelonian wizard Alaxxx Leprongo Kulikkx, the Zib Flobble spell allows the magic-user to make all percentile die rolls for the target, choosing the ones and tens die AFTER the rolls are made (deliberately aiding or hindering the target as the caster chooses).  This effect lasts for one minute of game-world time.  Obviously, the caster does not necessarily have any say over whether or not the target will actually attempt any skill, trait or combat rolls within that minute.  He merely gets to manipulate the results once the target has announced an action that requires a d% roll.  Unless the target possesses some special means for detecting magical curses, he/she/it will have no way of knowing that Alaxxx’s Zib Flobble has been cast upon him/her/it.
 
I was having trouble translating the intended general effect of that spell into LL terms, and that minute-long duration seemed both too complex and too powerful.  Then it struck me that the d30 was the key.  Once I had that, it was a simple step to realizing that I actually need two spells to generate the same range of random effects possible under the old Zib Flobble spell: thus I invented a new companion spell, Alaxxx's Zib Floogle!  Enjoy!

Alaxxx’s Zib Flobble (Magic-User spell)
Level: 3
Range: sight. 
Duration: instantaneous.
Invented by the mad Achelonian wizard Alaxxx Leprongo Kulikkx, the Zib Flobble spell allows any character or NPC creature the caster chooses (except himself) to roll the referee’s d30 in lieu of whatever die or dice the situation normally calls for. The choice to roll the d30 must be made before any actual rolling has occurred. The d30 cannot be rolled for generating character statistics or hit points, nor can the Zib Flobble affect the outcome of secret rolls by the referee.  d30 roll substitutions granted by the Zib Flobble spell do NOT count against the d30 roll allotted each player once per session (see forthcoming Arandish Campaign House Rules).  Unless the target possesses some special means for detecting magical curses, he/she/it will have no way of knowing that Alaxxx’s Zib Flobble has been cast upon him/her/it.


Alaxxx’s Zib Floogle (Magic-User spell)
Level: 3
Range: sight. 
Duration: instantaneous.
Another of Alaxxx Leprongo Kulikkx’s odd fate-changing spells, the Zib Floogle spell allows the caster to roll 1d30 and subtract the result from any other character’s or NPC’s (but not his own) just-completed roll.  This spell’s effect does NOT extend to any secret rolls made by the referee, and the Zib Floogle spell cannot be used against someone rolling for generation of character statistics or hit points.  Unless the target possesses some special means for detecting magical curses, he/she/it will have no way of knowing that Alaxxx’s Zib Floogle has been cast upon him/her/it.

Unwavering fixtures of all my FRPG campaigns

As I have been lately revisiting my gaming past, and especially as I have reviewed old campaign materials from various phases of my game-mastering career, I have noticed certain trends and tendencies in my world-creation preferences.  Although my refereeing experience extends across D&D, AD&D, D&D 3.5e, Tunnels and Trolls, Traveller, Shadowrun, a game of my own co-design called Crimson Blades of Ara, and no doubt a few others I am forgetting, nevertheless there are certain stock characters, key events, and recurring motifs that reappear with great regularity in nearly all my campaigns.  Since I am offering a campaign world / backdrop, I thought it might be fun to share some of the recurring features that seem to make their way into virtually every FRPG campaign I have ever run. 

A Crashed Alien Spaceship – Of course the big inspiration here is Expedition to the Barrier Peaks,  but the reason I nearly always throw a crashed spaceship somewhere into my fantasy RPG campaigns is because I have always loved that fantasy / sci-fi generic blurring found in fiction like Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Barsoom books and Roger Zelazny’s Chronicles of Amber.  So with me, there are always aliens (or at least inter-dimensional beings) involved at some stage in nearly every FRPG campaign.  In time, I will document a few ideas I have about specific alien ship crashes and extraterrestrial incursions into the Lands of Ara, including deploying robots like this in such scenarios.

Funny Names For Places And People – I try to make my key villains and party allies fairly serious / believable in tone, but most of my smaller supporting-cast NPCs have ridiculous and/or obscene names, for example, Barnacle-Head (at least he’s a sailor!) or, in Marsh Town (called by many locals Sluggerton), there is Ork-Ork, a half-elven man with a right club foot who is a part time fishmonger, part-time fence. Also from Sluggerton is a powerful but eccentric Enchanter simply known as Old Man Fish-Penis; the best swamp guide in Sluggerton is a young fellow named Rabbit-Head.  I also love ridiculous or sexually suggestive place-names, like Snotream Harbor, Barfington (home of the popular tavern the Aroused Barracuda), and Bull-Licker Terrace (home of an important wise woman / sorceress named the Witch of Bull-Licker Terrace). 

Hokka the Sailor – No campaign of mine (certainly no Arandish campaign) would be complete without Hokka the Sailor, the fearless, hard-drinking, adventure-seeking, and seemingly indestructible Noffellian sea captain / black marketeer.  Of course, I must give credit where credit is due and state that I did not invent Hokka – he is in fact the creation of Scott Peoples, a key playtester of Crimson Blades of Ara and referee of the “Hotel Kaladarian” campaign, wherein we first met Hokka in a Noffellian seaport.  It is from that original campaign of Scott’s that my fondest memory of Hokka emerges: we were in search of a fearsome giant sea serpent, and had hired Hokka to take us out to the serpent’s known feeding area.  The sea serpent appeared and attacked the ship, and during the height of the fray, Hokka, dangling from a rope high on his own ship’s mast, was swinging his cutlass at the attacking sea serpent while simultaneously shouting curses and, using his off-hand to hold himself, taking a piss on the giant creature – that is Hokka at his best.  In my campaigns, Hokka has never been killed – for me, such a thing is unthinkable.  Hokka is a constant.  Hokka and his crew, being fearless adventure-seekers, are almost always willing to transport adventure parties for a cash fee or fair trade.  In a forthcoming post I will provide more gaming-specific details about Hokka and his crew. 

A Mad Hermit . . . or two . . . or three  -- This is a “borrow” from the first adventure I ever played or refereed, D&D Module B2 The Keep on the Borderlands, wherein there is a mad hermit described simply as “a solitary hermit” who “has haunted this area of the forest, becoming progressively wilder and crazier and more dangerous.”  I love this.  Wild, mad, and dangerous recluses are about my favorite NPCs to play, so they are always lurking around in my campaigns.  My mad hermits usually know a good deal of the truth of what is going on in the area, almost to an oracular degree at times, but the way in which they reveal it is deliberately disjointed, obfuscating, and often laced with tons of obscene non-sequiturs and strange haggling.

Vampires as the ultimate Arch-Villains – I have always been quite terrified of vampires, a phobia I trace back to the 1970s TV mini-series Salems’ Lot and the very Max Schreck-ian vampire that James Mason works alongside in that program.  So when Dave and I were creating Ara, I made sure that with the possible exception of very ancient dragons, vampires would be more or less the most powerful evil creatures in Ara.  I still hold that as a cornerstone of the conception of Ara: vampires are very powerful there and should in fact be the most dreaded villains in the region.  In Ara, vampires are actually ancient magic-users who practiced evil arts and were imprisoned forever in Mount Mornlyn after the Old War (I will cover these events in greater detail in a forthcoming post about the exploits of Arlon, the best-known apprentice of creator-sorceress Awra).  Except, of course, that some of the most powerful and evil of these imprisoned wizards figured out how to make themselves undead, subsequently escaped Mornlyn, and now terrorize Ara from secret strongholds throughout the lands.  In a way, Arandish vampires are really more akin to Liches (and Demi-Liches!) from AD&D: ancient and incredibly powerful evil sorcerers gone undead.  I will give stats for a few typical Arandish vampires in a forthcoming post.

Valley of the Dinosaurs – I love dinos, though I actually think it is a bit incongruous and silly to place them in a medieval fantasy setting.  Yet I cannot resist doing so again and again. To resolve this crisis, I always put my campaign dinos in a remote valley “that time forgot” or posit them as the experiment of some bizarre wizard or summoner.  I make the appearance of dinosaurs a weird exception, NOT as creatures widely distributed throughout Ara.  But they are the “exception” that I almost always work in because I love dinosaurs so much.

The “Scumbrella” Spell – Scumbrella is a 1^st-Level magic-user spell that is cast upon a single mundane umbrella.  The next time that umbrella is opened, it dumps sewage and filth all over the person(s) underneath it.  This is a “practical joke” spell with very little direct combat application – maybe I would call the person scummed by a Scumbrella surprised for one round – but it seems like the kind of spell I would certainly write if I were a magic-user and that I imagine would be quite popular amongst other spellcasters as well.  What’s a little harmless fun?